As Demi Lovato Sang, "This is Me"

My name is Erin Lindsay Monaghan, and I hate when things change. It doesn't matter what is changing (plans, what I'm eating for dinner, what movie I'm going to see at the theatre) because I don't like it; once my mind is set on something, I stick to it. For example, I told my mom when I was four that I wasn't going to have kids; she could have them for me, or I'd find another way. To this day, I feel that way, and have decided that I am adopting kids. Basically, the only change that happens in my life is when it is out of my control (a testing date, moving, what days I work).  The ironic thing about this is that the meaning of my names correlate with me. My first name "Erin" means Ireland, peace, or green water. Continuing down this earthy path, my middle name, "Lindsay", means Island of the Linden Trees, with my surname "Monaghan"meaning a place where hills gather. It gets scarier because my initials tie everything together too, because they spell out ELM, like the Elm tree.  What I've concluded about myself, and the meanings of my names, is that we don't change; Ireland will stay the same;Linden trees will stay the same; a place where hills gather will stay the same. But, like myself, there is another, stronger force that can change it, and that is Mother Nature, or people. I've also come to the realization that these names, do in fact define me; they solidify who I really am.

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And then there is Anna Quindlen, who remarks in her essay, "The Name is Mine", that, "there are two me's, the me who is the individual and the me who is part of a family of four". I wholeheartedly agree with that statement because, while I am not a different person, I act differently according to my surroundings. 

Most of you know that I am very quiet person, and I can't get up in front of people to talk to save my life. I also have a difficult time during discussions to say what exactly I want to say coherently, because most of the time, I jumble whatever I am going to say up. But when I get out of my school surroundings, or, at least out of a group of thirty kids my own age, my body relaxes. For example, I work at a retirement facility as a waitress, but the me who works there is a different me who goes to school. I am a very loud, assertive worker too, and I talk to anybody and everybody. The me who preforms at Open Mics are also different, because I have to talk and sing and pretend I just didn't mess up what I sing. 

As Demi Lovato sang, "This is Me", because this really is me; a grounded, quiet-but-not-quiet person. And I'm okay with that.